Do You or Don’t You? Duties Of The Wedding Crew
Bride and Groom, your roles are clear — get yourselves happily hitched, giving everyone a great day out while you do.
So what about the rest of the wedding party bunch?
The order of play is a lot more blurred these days, when brides may balk at being ‘given away’, couples often fund part of the wedding, and parents of the groom want a greater part of the action.
But whether it’s full-on tradition, or alternative modern-mode, there’s a part for everyone to play.
Far from an exhaustive list, we bring you the bare essentials for the wedding party pile.
Her Folks
• Parents of the bride, you are pivotal — no pressure, but it’s up to you to hold it all together
• To kick off, host a small (or large) engagement gathering to celebrate the announcement
• Once you have that behind you, work the guest list into shape along with the blissful couple
• Dad – walk her up the aisle if she wants you to, open with a short toast at the reception, dance with your daughter, and be there till the bitter end, whatever time it might wrap
• Mother of the bride — you are Chief Diplomat in Residence. As liaison point for wedding suppliers, you’ll be busy honing your organisational skills
• Unfortunately, limiting the number of guests could fall under your remit where required
• One of your key tasks is to choose the dress you want and make sure the groom’s mother wears something nowhere near as glamorous
His Folks
• For good or for bad, you are the Back Up Brigade
• Provide a list of your guests to the couple, and hopefully stick within your quota
• Although not a must, you might host post-engagement or pre-reception drinks, and get the two families together
• The rehearsal dinner on the evening before the wedding may be in your court, and you might choose to contribute to some wedding expenses
Maid of Honour/Chief bridesmaid
• You’re the Champion Cheerlead cum Bottlewasher Extraordinaire — you’ll also need to bring your jollying skills to the fore
• Juggling the bridesmaids’ activities is your job, from dress fittings to movements on the day
• Orchestrate the hen night out in a way that keeps your bride healthy and sane
• Muck in to assist with all the logistics in the lead up to the wedding
• On the big day, you are Super Sidekick Girl, helping the bride get ready, keeping her calm before the ceremony and cool before the reception
• You’ll hold her bouquet during the vows, and sign the marriage license as witness of the bride
• Now you’re on the home run, backing up the bride and her mother as Hostess Supreme, and hitting the dance floor with the best man once the bride and groom have had their chance
Bridesmaids
• Girls, you are the Wondrous Wing Backs, assisting the maid of honour with her wedding-planning duties and her hen night escapades, and supporting the bride as and when you’re needed
• You’ll walk the walk in the processional, look after any flower girls and ring-bearing boys, and play professional minglers through the rest of the day
Best Man
• Think of yourself as the Canny Centre Forward, driving the groom towards his destiny
• The stag night is yours to arrange (keep it clean!)
• Get the groomsmen fitted out like kings, and make sure to pick up the groom’s outfit for the day
• Get him to the church on time!
• You’ll guard the rings (or help the young ring-bearer), sign as witness to the groom, and keep the fee to pay the officiant
• Coordinate toasts at the reception before your big moment arrives — when it’s time for your speech, take a deep breath, you’ll play a blinder
• Just one more formal requirement before you relax — your dance with the maid of honour
• Don’t forget — it’s your job to get any rented formalwear back from whence it came
Groomsmen
• You are the Meeters and Greeters of the Court
• Without too much to do beforehand (though offering to take on any tasks from the best man and groom will score you points), your duties kick in on the day
• Seating guests and ushering the crowd during the ceremony and between reception points is your responsibility
• Remember, at traditional Christian ceremonies guests of the bride’s family sit on the left, and guests of the groom’s family on the right.
